[1/x] Because I'm an enormous #RoadSign nerd, today we're going to take a magical tour of a selection of signs in use in Europe to warn road users about domesticated animals in and around the carriageway. This most commonly takes the form of a black cow symbol inside a red triangle.
We're starting in the UK, with a very decent example. Nice sweep on the horns, a good swishy tail, and a very planted feeling that suggests you'll have a bad day if you choose to mess with her. You can also see her in fellow left-hand traffic country Cyprus, where she is presumably enjoying somewhat nicer weather. Score: 7/10
[2/x] Ireland's cow may look familiar, because it's the same symbol as used in the UK. It does perhaps look a bit lost in Ireland's spicy yellow diamond warning signs. These two are our only rightwards-facing cattle, as Malta, the only remaining left-hand traffic country in Europe, seems to not have a sign. Score: 7/10
[3/x] Moving onto Germany, we have a more stylised take. I love the way the tail is parallel to the hindquarters, and the alert-looking ears. Wirklich schön! Score: 8/10
[4/x] Next door in Austria we have a very different, almost photo-realistic cow. Honestly, there might be a bit *too* much detail to be appreciated at speed, though I do like the very distinct eyelashes. Score: 7/10
[5/x] Let's move on to Spain, the home of el toro bravo. Regrettably, their road sign of the same resembles an under-inflated pool toy. The legs aren't even level with each other. Disappointing. Score: 2/10
[6/x] For a palate cleanser, let's head to the Baltic Sea and Estonia, who bring us this magnificent symbolic bovine. I especially like the way the head is turned towards you as if in greeting, or perhaps calling you out on your reckless driving. This one's full of personality. Score: 8/10
[7/x] Heading north to Finland, we have, uh, apparently nothing. Finland is clearly cold enough that all cattle are likely to be in the sauna, and therefore pose minimal risk to road traffic. Better luck next time, Finland!
[8/x] Finland's next-door neighbour Sweden gives us our first Moo on the Move. She has places to be, and those places might involve her crossing the carriageway, so watch out! A solid 7/10, but her attitude bumps her up to an 8.5/10.
[9/x] Continuing west, we come to Norway. The little balls on the end of her horns keep the viewer safe from accidental perforation. Some nice detail on the head, but she does seem to exude a sort of deep Weltschmerz that brings the mood down a bit. 5/10
[10/x] Poland brings us this boldly angular interpretation, and like Sweden's, she has places to be. She is stunning, and she knows it, and she's power-walking to get an iced latte before her lunch break is over. 9/10.
[11/x] Switzerland brings us *checks notes* a unicorn with udders. Inventive, but potentially misleading, unless I'm very misinformed about where gruyère comes from. 3/10.
[12/x] Switzerland's fellow Francophone country, uh, France, shows us how it's done with this compact but powerful-looking stylised entry. You get the feeling that she's facing away from the viewer, but perhaps glancing backwards to catch our eye. Deeply moving. 9/10
l13/13] Finally, we have this highly symbolic entry used in many parts of the former USSR (this example is Ukraine's). This one is such a strong design – every unnecessary part is stripped away, leaving us only with a strong sense of bovine-ness. The foreshortened perspective allows the symbol to take up maximum space within the triangular sign, while the head facing the viewer shows off the animal's personality. I can almost hear the pasture in high summer. 10/10, no notes.
@eerko clearly a relative of the German one – I like the stylisation, although her very straight legs make her look somehow a bit nervous? It’s tough being a sign cow. 7.5/10
@eerko on reflection, I revised her score upwards – unlike the German cow she has to worry about things like ‘will the sea flood my field’, so her anxiety is very understandable and also quite relatable.