I’ve been waiting to debut Nat, my name, to my offline friends, until I get the pills, do two announcements at once, get people to take the name thing more seriously. But it’s starting to grate when people use my old name - which I can’t blame them for doing, using the only name I ever gave them - I just don’t wanna wait too much longer.
God I hope this is the appointment where I get the hormones. Really want to leave with the pills in the little orange bottle. Or patches, my doctor likes patches. Whatever. Something written down on a prescription pad that says Estradiol somewhere.
This Thursday morning I’ll find out. Less than a week.
They had fun, and I did too - I just seriously gotta get better at guessing where to spend my time, I sunk so much effort into a bunch of maps and faction info that they were not at all interested in,and it turns out what I should have spent time on was jokes about tunnel boring machines and characters who the pc can clown on
I had some bits lined up but sometimes as gm your job is just to be the straight man. I am not straight or a man but I play the comedy role ok sometimes I guess
Finished the arc of Scum and Villainy and yep sure enough the players did not engage with any of the npcs or factions I spent time on, instead they spent most of their time designing insane spaceship components. They attached a tunnel boring machine to a limousine. Then they took the seats out of the limousine and built them into sidecars for some speederbikes they stole
I feel like they must have a sense for when this has happened. Ah yeah Nat has written some lines for this one, better not give them the opportunity to say a damn thing, I fire my grenade launcher
We’re gonna try playing Traveller again. I do not think this is gonna work at all! We’re calling it hubrisgame. But nobody else wants to run anything and nobody wants to play anything I actually want to run so here we are - we’ll give it a try. Traveller is such an 80s game. No story, just mechanics.
In other less important news I got sound working in gentoo which I am proud of doing
But it doesn’t do that. Why? Same reason it plays some genuinely painful sounds if you just type “speaker-test”, because fuck off, rtfm, blah blah blah
Or honestly the broad open source UX ethos, I think a lot about what happens if you type “git add”. It knows you mean “git add .”, it even prints a snarky message about it - “nothing specified, nothing added. Did you mean `git add .`?”
This is absolutely compatible with the gentoo ethos I feel
The default speaker test in gentoo is a DEEPLY upsetting noise. The console tells me it is called “pink noise”. This suggests to me that some human decided to make it this way - like, somebody sat down and said “okay, when you test your speakers, what should happen?” and settled on a truly horrifying screech.
an odd experience with evangelical christianity
I’m watching this YouTube video about the church’s interactions with mental health: https://youtu.be/16bcJp6GucI - and remembering all the exorcisms we used to do when I was growing up in a weird evangelical sect. We would try to exorcise anything - depression and anxiety for sure, but, like, one time we tried to exorcise a guy’s broken leg. Didn’t work, cause, yeah, his leg was broken.
Weird. Weird! Very weird. I wonder if that guy remembers this.
I just like roleplaying games a lot
Friends at the Table we are not but I let them write their own ship upgrades and I love that they invented this instead of “big laser that makes us win”. I feel like it is a great sign that we will have fun and tell stories and laugh a lot instead of them just trying to beat the mission every time.
the real thinking machines was the trust we reflected on trusting along the way
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