I’ve been waiting to debut Nat, my name, to my offline friends, until I get the pills, do two announcements at once, get people to take the name thing more seriously. But it’s starting to grate when people use my old name - which I can’t blame them for doing, using the only name I ever gave them - I just don’t wanna wait too much longer.

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God I hope this is the appointment where I get the hormones. Really want to leave with the pills in the little orange bottle. Or patches, my doctor likes patches. Whatever. Something written down on a prescription pad that says Estradiol somewhere.

This Thursday morning I’ll find out. Less than a week.

They had fun, and I did too - I just seriously gotta get better at guessing where to spend my time, I sunk so much effort into a bunch of maps and faction info that they were not at all interested in,and it turns out what I should have spent time on was jokes about tunnel boring machines and characters who the pc can clown on

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I had some bits lined up but sometimes as gm your job is just to be the straight man. I am not straight or a man but I play the comedy role ok sometimes I guess

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Finished the arc of Scum and Villainy and yep sure enough the players did not engage with any of the npcs or factions I spent time on, instead they spent most of their time designing insane spaceship components. They attached a tunnel boring machine to a limousine. Then they took the seats out of the limousine and built them into sidecars for some speederbikes they stole

Spent all of today on some CI/CD stuff for my real life job and it’s a little embarrassing how similar it is to my dumb hobby of installing gentoo on things. scrolling text and pipelines churning along, really does it for me, absolutely no good reason for that to be true but what can you do

I feel like they must have a sense for when this has happened. Ah yeah Nat has written some lines for this one, better not give them the opportunity to say a damn thing, I fire my grenade launcher

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prepping for tomorrow’s Scum and Villainy game and it is a little annoying that last week my players immediately shot the only guy I had written any dialog for

We’re gonna try playing Traveller again. I do not think this is gonna work at all! We’re calling it hubrisgame. But nobody else wants to run anything and nobody wants to play anything I actually want to run so here we are - we’ll give it a try. Traveller is such an 80s game. No story, just mechanics.

debugging gentoo reminds me of james mickens. i wonder what he’s doing these days.

In other less important news I got sound working in gentoo which I am proud of doing

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But it doesn’t do that. Why? Same reason it plays some genuinely painful sounds if you just type “speaker-test”, because fuck off, rtfm, blah blah blah

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Or honestly the broad open source UX ethos, I think a lot about what happens if you type “git add”. It knows you mean “git add .”, it even prints a snarky message about it - “nothing specified, nothing added. Did you mean `git add .`?”

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This is absolutely compatible with the gentoo ethos I feel

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The default speaker test in gentoo is a DEEPLY upsetting noise. The console tells me it is called “pink noise”. This suggests to me that some human decided to make it this way - like, somebody sat down and said “okay, when you test your speakers, what should happen?” and settled on a truly horrifying screech.

an odd experience with evangelical christianity 

I’m watching this YouTube video about the church’s interactions with mental health: youtu.be/16bcJp6GucI - and remembering all the exorcisms we used to do when I was growing up in a weird evangelical sect. We would try to exorcise anything - depression and anxiety for sure, but, like, one time we tried to exorcise a guy’s broken leg. Didn’t work, cause, yeah, his leg was broken.

Weird. Weird! Very weird. I wonder if that guy remembers this.

Friends at the Table we are not but I let them write their own ship upgrades and I love that they invented this instead of “big laser that makes us win”. I feel like it is a great sign that we will have fun and tell stories and laugh a lot instead of them just trying to beat the mission every time.

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Had a great game of Scum and Villainy, my players came up with this absolutely bananas spaceship, it’s like the spaceship version of the f-35. I cannot wait for them to accidentally eject everyone into space

Nat boosted

the real thinking machines was the trust we reflected on trusting along the way

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