mh ~ 

I'm getting hassled by a hire car company about an event that happened three years ago, and I have no memory of it.

I don't know whether it's a spear-phishing attempt or just the vast swiss-cheese holes in my memory caused by anxiety and depression.

xmas 

Oh dear, it's "everybody adopt Christmassy nicks on work IRC" day :)

mh, -ve, quotidian chores 

My brain last night: How about we spend eight hours completely freaking out about whether there's any purpose to my existence and if not what a terrible person that makes me?

NOT my brain last night: How about we put out the bins for collection in the morning?

My brain this morning: Damn and blast, you forgot the bins!

covid, xmas, family +ve 

Unexpected but welcome email from my Mum - following my advice, she's not going to try and get the family together over Christmas, and instead suggests a group Zoom call on Boxing Day.

Given how much she's been complaining about not seeing me this year, this is very welcome.

covid, uk, lockdown, people are terrible, -ve 

So the Government have just announced the new tier systems which will apply around the UK.

All the first reactions I've seen are people working out how to get around them. And that's *before* the lockdowns get lifted for Christmas.

This is why I'm forced to basically self-isolate until Easter.

internalised homophobia but +ve 

Weird, very fleeting moment of internalised homophobia. I found myself thinking "is it gay to show affection to my boyfriend?" Of course it is, gloriously so, shut up.

Just kind of strange to think that after all these years there's still something like that lurking in my brain.

I've done important business paperwork today which I feel pretty good about. Still feeling very dozy, which isn't good when I have work to do :/

TIL about the town of Chicken, Alaska - so named because they weren't sure how to spell Ptarmigan. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken,

genital mention, lewd, kink 

Tired: Small Penis Humiliation
Wired: Small Penis Appreciation

mh (-), meta sui mention 

It's been a tough day. Spent the morning in Mental Health First Aid training. This morning we were discussing accounts of suicidal people, and asking how we could spot and help people in this situation.

This afternoon I found out that my actions as a manager have caused somebody else to have a mental health problem and they've been removed from my project to recover.

I'm kicking myself over this, wondering what I could have done differently.

uspol, lewd 

"Biden edges Pennsylvania, Georgia" - what, all of them?

The first word of this sign is obscured but I think the remaining message is terrifying enough.

sad 

Time to stop staying up late feeling sad and go to bed feeling sad instead, in the hope that i can sleep through the sad.

Hey 17 year old me. Going for late night walks while feeling sad isn't a phase, you'll still be doing it in a quarter of a century.

Only this time you'll be playing Pokémon on something like a Gameboy only smaller and also a phone, and talking to people on the Internet about it.

I wish bad puns weren't the easiest way for me to get a dopamine hit.

Watching 's 40th birthday gig online wth @error_1202 from my living room. Not quite the same as going to Nottingham Rock City in December for the Yule gigs, but we have to make do...

There needs to be an equivalent of the "dump out" ring theory of emotional support for pedantry.

I managed not to point out to a dearly beloved friend that Stockport Hat Museum is not in Manchester but in Stockport, as the name implies. Compared to Texas where they're from, a few miles makes no difference.

But I do feel the need to tell *somebody*, so the Fediverse gets to deal with it instead.

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