@hellbeast@bark.lgbt coming from the other side, being an adult, I do also notice a lot of the things you're having issues with, and they're smth that do kinda need addressing
I'm tired rn, but later (if I don't forgor), I can write up my thoughts on this and all that shit
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt (I forgored lol) (gonna try and do it in 30-ish minutes tho)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt I forgored again lol
gonna write it out rn tho
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt okay, gonna go through things item-by-item, bc it's more organized that way. but there might also be some random ramblings as well
- 18+ accounts interacting with you: nothing to add
- bio: honestly, bios are a hard thing. it's difficult to have to check the bio of every single account you interact with. and honestly, it's quite exhausting when I feel like I'm obligated to (I do already somewhat feel obligated to, as it's kinda like the "culture" of fedi? idk. might also be a bad learned habit from twitter as well, though I've left that hellhole. never was on the nsfw side, though.)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
can't interact with non-nsfw posts on 18+ accounts:
yeaaahhh, I don't think that's fair either. it's the reason I have no such thing in my bio. it just feels... weirdly excluding..
- also, this goes back to the "being forced to check the bio of everyone you interact with is exhausting" thing
the fact you feel the need to "apologize" for interacting (presumably in a neutral/positive way) with someone is honestly kinda yucky. this isn't not towards you (or any specific person), but that's just not a good culture in general. imo, we should make assumptions that someone is acting in good faith, until proven otherwise, and a culture that does the opposite kinda sucks ngl (not saying fedi does have that sort of culture, just that this is encroaching on that territory)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
- there's no standard way to tell if someone is 18+ & why don't you use filters: yeah, that really is a bad design. imo there should be smth platform-level that allows you to mark your account (& posts) as "nsfw" or "lewd". then, if shown to a user who hasn't opted-in to "see nsfw/lewd content", it will display a warning on the post (if set on a post-level) or on the entire account (if set on an account-level), hiding the user's display name & pfp until the user selects to view it. (an additional setting to filter the posts & accounts completely, unless directly mentioned, as well should be offered)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
- there is no arbiter of nsfw: this part I especially feel. I have, many times in the past, been faulted for interacting with someone in a way that they perceive as "nsfw" or "lewd" when I never intended it that way. so, it's not necessarily just a problem that the underage crowd has to deal with, it's a much more general societal-level problem that needs solving. it has honestly left me quite hurt from it, as I'm often scared to interact with people due to the perceived threat of having my intentions misinterpreted (this also causes me to write overly long and hyper-specific explanations of things, some of which you may see here)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
- this is not normal: I agree. nobody should ever feel "afraid" of interacting with others. the culture fedi is trying to create is one of inclusivity and comfort. and, while trying to create such a space, we have inversely done the opposite (in certain aspects, not all). imo we, as a community, really need to find a solution to this, and this is a very important part to highlight.
- content warnings: yeah, people need to use them more often, and use them appropriately. I often see cws set as smth like "cute", which is fine I guess, but there's also many cws for things that don't (imo) need it. also, many of the cws used also contain non-obvious acronyms or abbreviations. eg. I often see cws for "mh", which took me quite a bit of time to figure out. cws should instead be as specific as possible and use common words (no abbreviations)
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
arguments against this:
minors shouldn't be on the internet:
- realistically, they will be on the internet regardless. so, this is a non-starter. and, fedi is attempting to foster a culture of inclusivity, so anyone attempting to exclude minors (from all of fedi) isn't working towards that.
why don't you stop using fedi:
- honestly it really sucks that you're considering this. again, back to the "culture of inclusivity" stuff. we need to do better, and create a space where everyone* feels welcome.
@hellbeast@bark.lgbt
(cont.)
- minors are immature: this is a bad view of the world to have, and it's revealing of many of the bad-habits that people have (I'm assuming this has been said, or implied, to you). imo you should treat minors (>=13-ish) as adults where possible. (listening to what they have to say, allowing them to contribute, explaining things to them, etc. basically, act as if you don't know their age) I have acted as such with many others. and, in fact, I have had several people tell me that they appreciate this, as it feels as if I'm one of the few people that treats them as people and doesn't belittle them.
*except nazis, bigots, and fascists. they just need to be punched :3