David @kolbychez@tech.lgbt

I really want to get back into desktop Linux but literally all I do is eat hot chip and play gam.

Like you can just see Lady Gaga and Beyonce stoned as fuck at a party like, “You should remix Video Phone so it’s like a follow up to Telephone.”

“Oh my god YASSSSSSSSS that would be so cool. Like we did it on purpose!”

The fact that Lady Gaga and Beyoncé got together and put out Telephone, then got back together and put out Video Phone is just like…

At the time we (a particular subset of female pop diva fangays) thought that was the height of pop music. In retrospect, it’s still that but like…in a very sardonic ironic hipster-ey “how fucking corny was that? Amazing!” way.

Half my kitchen has no electricity. And it’s not the entire circuit either, which means it’s probably the wiring. Gross.

I am closing in on the end of Elden Ring. Currently have a clear path to Radagon but wandered off to try my hand at getting into the Haligtree and some loot out of consecrated snowfield.

I *want* to beat Malenia and Haligtree before I wrap up and pick my ending but I am also kinda getting tired of this game. Lol.

Saint-Narcisse is … a movie. A movie I paid $4 to watch. A movie I watched DESPITE having read the summary and been like “lolwatthefuck?” And now I’m just like “lolwatthefuck?” but also vaguely aroused?

That said it’s also probably a sign that I should’ve been more aggressive with adding weight since I started lifting in January. Better slow than injured tho, so I’ll take it. 😝

Also I think Wednesday was just a bad day? Idk. I know I was Done (TM) on that last rep for deadlifts at 150 but now I’m Done (TM) on 155. @.@ Which is good, I guess. My goal was 100% body weight squat and deadlift for the year. Blowing that out of the water at the halfway point would be pretty epic, especially considering I’m not being terribly strict in either cut/gain direction for my intake.

Part of brain currently in the driver’s seat: *trying to figure plates for 150lbs, can’t find app on phone, shrugs and just tries 155lbs for shits and giggles*
Other part of my brain from the back seat: “Oh my god we became a dumb jock. Kill us.”
That other part of my brain: “Um…guys? This sure is awakening something in us.”

Me: “Well, gays always know gays by their corporate language emails.”

VERY INNOCENT CO-WORKER: “You are so good at receptive language.”

Me: *cackle* OH MY GOD YOU REALLY DID. Like I ain’t even mad, that’s just too good.

Co-worker: Wh…what did I say?

Me: It will be explained but only in person and outside the office. I promise it’s just really funny and a bit…rated R to explain.. Nothing bad.

Today my brain couldn’t figure out a word and kept putting “ethnic hot pockets” into my thoughts that needed the word and I’ve been on a self-aware white person am I racist again spiral.

(Empanadas. I am craving EMPANADAS.)

(Also j/k about the spiral unless it isn’t obvious.)

The AWS VPN Client on MacOS has one of the most annoying UX things in the world. It takes forever to negotiate a connection and then when it’s done connecting it steals focus to its window with the Disconnect button highlighted. Also our IT department requires MFA on every single connection.

SEVERAL times a day I will finish MFA, open a new tab, start typing, and then mash space or enter except the focus is now on AWS’s vpn client and I fucking disconnect. I fucking hate it.

Annual reminder I‘d let Bayonetta do me with her strap.

Friend: “Okay but you were home by 11pm. That’s not out recapturing your youth, that’s just…a night out.”

Me: “But then I got cross faded and husbando gave me the good good for like two hours so TECHNICALLY I stayed up till 1am.”

Friend: “🤔🤔 I’ll allow it. But you also did not suffer a hangover and went to a healthy brunch of chicken and eggs the next day. So it’s only half credit. You recaptured 30, not 21.”

Coming back to the “I’ll never do it again” line. (I’ve had too many iced coffees this morning.)

This is an actual litmus test I use when meeting new people. I’ve found people who share this sentiment tend to align terrifically with me in the relationship venting department. They just know that you’re blowing off steam and don’t try to take sides or get involved. They just vibe with the “omg he needs to realize literally no one else would put up with this nonsense” and cackling mood so *well*.

Also I’ve said this repeatedly to their face. Lol. So I’m not really treading new ground or being dramatic behind their back. They just think it’s cute or something I guess.

Like it just gets kinda insulting any time I talk about something in my relationship and this person just does the screaming crow comic meme over me “YOU ARE SO LUCKY AND HAVE IT SO EASY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE IN THESE STREETS”

Y’all got that one friend who always acts like your successful long term relationship is pure luck and happily ever after?

Like being proudly perpetually single is fine! Own it that you don’t want to put that work in! Lord knows I’ll never do it again.

However, you’re over here oozing jealousy in my direction claiming you want a till death do us part but you ghost a man when he doesn’t like a movie you liked. 👀

Make it make sense boo-boo.

I just got told by a stranger I have the most beautiful armpit. Im literally dying laughing

I do love that the most dramatic conversation in three years in our relationship is simply “Please tell me the itinerary I’m dressing for without being coy about it.”