David @kolbychez@tech.lgbt

So this is pretty much where I live now. Like most of my accounts that I start on a new social site, it’ll mostly consist of me screaming into the void and randomly following people from the Federated Timeline and kinda grow organically from there. Topics will be: Gaming (Final Fantasy XIV), Coding (I program for a living), and “Oh God Why” at my Corporate job. Welcome!

I just want to addendum all this with a reminder that Mastodon isn’t a great format to really hash this out and I kinda just wanna delete all of this. Queer cinema is … complicated for me. I think it is for all of us. We want our stories told but we also want those stories to be *for us*.

Your Name Engraved Herein is *good*. It is deeply personal and you can tell. It is powerful. But it’s also still, “Hey Cishets! Look at these tragic gays and feel sad for us! Can we have rights?”

I want happy endings. I want more than this for us in cinema. Lesbians have it equally, if not worse. Portrait of a Lady on Fire is also a peak distillation of the Lesbian Tragedy. Across all of cinema, over and over, we cannot be happy. Our relationships only end in regret. In a vacuum, these movies are very artistic…but they just leave me frustrated and annoyed. They are good movies, they just tell a story we tell too much. 3/3

But this movie has deep, deep roots in a certain Gay Tragedy tradition of queer cinema. It has a ton of visual language that tells me that Patrick Kuang-Hui Liu is deeply aware of the well he draws from. That he didn’t have the guts to go full in for a happy ending, for escape, for anything but a lifetime of regret and two minutes of “I actually loved you” at the end of it? It’s infuriating. 2/3

On the one hand, this movie largely takes place in Taiwan right after Martial Law is lifted. So yes, the environment makes sense. But the whole “Birdy chases him off because he knew it would end badly” is just so…so hopeless. “They meet again as old men and MAYBE hook up” is such a weak sauce way of trying to make up for it. I get that I’m critiquing a movie made for a culture that isn’t mine. 1/3

Movie: “And then they met up again in Niagara Falls as old men.”

Me: “IF THEY DONT JUMP IN THE NEAREST BED AND FUCK…”

Movie: “They walk off towards the hotel while bittersweet music plays.”

Me: *roars in rage*

Ah yes. They never see each other again and only call each other occasionally AND HERE IS THE CRYING ON THE PHONE AT EACH OTHER SCENE GOD. WILL SOMEONE JUST LET US BE HAPPY ONE GOD DAMN TIME?

My experience watching this has been vacillating between genuine emotions and “Holy shit I never want to go through puberty again! I do not have the energy for this sort of relationship nonsense. Y’all need therapy.” 😂

Ah yes. The crying sex scene. Another staple of the Gay Tragedy. Ah, to be this young and horny and emotional again. And they just waste it crying in showers at each other after a handy.

I *already* was upset about dog murder but they went and made that 100 fucking times worse. The fact you're in NG+ and one-hitting the normal wolves really just made it that much worse and I'm just like, WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HOPELESS and then the King kills the shade wolf and it says, "What have we done to deserve this fate?" WHEN I TELL YOU I BAWLED.

#Nier Route B completed. Just gonna sit here and stare at some walls quietly, thanks.

"You're literally sobbing and killing a whole pack of wolves, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I paid $60 for this game I knew what I was getting into!"
"That's worse. You see how that's worse?"

The Husbando: "Why do you keep playing that game? You just keep crying during the boss fights." #nier

Also I would like to comment that latex paint is an amazing invention. Just the water solubility alone is like, “GLORY BE TO WHOEVER INVENTED THIS.” I’ve dealt with oil paints in art class and like I literally would just die if I had to clean up after covering a whole room in that smeary hateful mess and then destroying my skin with all that turpentine.

Paint testing in progress.

Shark tank proposal: It’s anal lube, but packaged in canisters that fit a standard caulking gun.

Brought to you by re-caulking the corners of our den’s wood paneling before replacing the trim and painting.

I already know this is another iteration of the bittersweet Gay Tragedy story because the preview had a scene of them just silently crying into phones. Like if that ain’t the best way to tell me the whole plot of the movie without telling me the whole plot of the movie.

God this movie has everything from The Gay Tragedy. Young horny gays falling in love over the summer while traipsing across a homophobic landscape and stealing kisses in darkened allies. One is popular and has a homophobic crew. The framing is the popular boy telling his (presumably) tale of woe to a catholic priest. Lounging about in chairs and smoking cigarettes while helping the priest learn that love is love!

I hate it. It’s so good.

Currently watching Your Name Engraved Herein and I’m gonna have to take a break because bed time but it’s The Gay Movie, But In Taiwan. But it’s also good because … it just kinda reflects the sort of young gay love I grew up with right? Like it’s junk food for the soul.

Husbando: “I think you have a bit of a fever.”
Me: “I am fine.”
H: “You turned the thermostat to 80 and are under a whole pile of covers.”
M: “I’m FLORIDIAN! This is normal.”

Web Views in native apps that utilize OAuth2 will destroy you.