sui, mh 

The voice that tries to convince me to kill myself is particularly loud tonight. My new dream method is carbon monoxide poisoning. Big enough dose is supposedly instant, and I imagine pretty much painless. There's the old hose from the car exhaust gag, but it can be purchased online too.

I fucked my life up pretty hard last year. I had another psychotic episode, quit the best job I've ever had. Almost nuked every one of my friendships. I'm just not doing well.

sui, mh 

I keep thinking if I'd tell anyone before I did it, and I honestly don't know. The thought of just suddenly being unreachable the next time anyone reaches out is appealing.

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sui, mh 

I keep ruminating and can't stop. I barely do anything.

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