𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"<p>MAGA: You people call everyone a Nazi! I'm not a Nazi!</p><p>ME: Okay, maybe I'm wrong. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about what you believe?</p><p>MAGA: Fine ok, but I'm NOT A NAZI stop saying that!!</p><p>ME: First question: Do you believe that American schools should be required to teach the Bible and the Constitution because that is the source of truth and we have strayed from its path?</p><p>MAGA: Well of course. We have to get God back in schools. </p><p>ME: Okay. Do you believe that America has lost its way and we should go back to traditional values? </p><p>MAGA: Duh. We're gonna make America great again. </p><p>ME: Fine, alright. Do you think American presidents should have summits with dictators like Vladimir Putin, Netanyahu, Kim Jong-Un, or the Taliban? </p><p>MAGA: Definitely. We need to take action right now, and Trump is going to make sure it happens. What has Biden done in 4 years? Nothing.</p><p>ME: Right. Got it. Tell me, what do you think of Republicans like Liz Cheney or Mitt Romney?</p><p>MAGA: Get fucked, RINOs. They're all fucking traitors. No better than you libtards. </p><p>ME: Alright then. Next question. This is an easy one. Open borders - good or bad?</p><p>MAGA: Don't get me started on those Mexican immigrants. They're rapists and drug dealers. Trump is gonna build the wall. </p><p>ME: Yeah, I thought so. Ok, next I need to ask you about your thoughts on the middle class, you know, the price of groceries and gas and stuff. </p><p>MAGA: Way too high. I can't even afford to drive my Hummer from my summer home to the Piggly Wiggly to buy a dozen eggs. That's all Biden's fault too. Trump is going to fix it. </p><p>ME: Sure, sure. The next question is about police. Do you support defunding police and using that money to hire more pacifist solutions and invest in de-escalation techniques?</p><p>MAGA: FUCK no. Thin blue line, baby.</p><p>ME: Yeah, thought not. During Donald Trump's first campaign, he mocked a disabled reporter. It became something of a meme among the right, being used to–</p><p>MAGA: Oh shit I remember that! That was fuckin funny as hell, dude. Trump is the fuckin God-emperor!</p><p>ME: No need to finish that question then. Ok, quick rapid fire round. Fill in the blanks. CNN is ___ </p><p>MAGA: Fake news.</p><p>ME: Great. Obama is part of the ___</p><p>MAGA: Deep state.</p><p>ME: Ok. Californians are ___</p><p>MAGA: Coastal elites.</p><p>ME: LGBT people are ___</p><p>MAGA: Groomers.</p><p>ME: Your body ___</p><p>MAGA: My choice, bitches! </p><p>ME: And finally, people convicted of storming the capital on Jan 6 are ___</p><p>MAGA: Heroes. </p><p>ME: Got it. That's it. You did it. You scored a perfect 14.</p><p>MAGA: Woohoo! USA! USA! USA! Wait, was this a test? </p><p>ME: Yep. Umberto Eco's 14 points of fascism. You scored a perfect 14. Some of them I didn't even have to ask about. You just volunteered the "correct" answer. So, congrats, I guess? You *are* a Nazi.</p>