Natasha Jay 🇪🇺<p>Trump says to Elon, "China's mining too many ores"</p><p>Elon: What are you going to do?<br>Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.<br>Elon: Mine fewer.<br>Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet ...</p>
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Buxton The Red (Matt)@BuxtonTheRed@tech.lgbt
aka Matt Fowler. British human cis male, gay & married, thoroughly nerdy. I'm not very tolerant of intolerance. Husband of @duncaned - my job is doing code and data stuff to help him do smart stuff quicker.
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2022
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Amateur Radio Callsign
- M0MFZ
Kevin Santo Cappuccio<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://sfba.social/@Mikal" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>Mikal</span></a></span></p>
forest_fr1ends
CatStorytime: Queers make the world a safer place
National Pride Service<p>The National Park Service is misremembering <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Stonewall" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Stonewall</span></a>. We're here to help correct their mistakes! All of the original content for the Stonewall National Monument has been republished at <a href="https://realstonewall.com" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">realstonewall.com</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/trans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>trans</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/queer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>queer</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/lgbtqia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>lgbtqia</span></a></p>
Kit Bashir<p>“WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY AEONS-LONG SLUMBER?!”</p><p>“Yes, very good, excellent delivery, forgive me for not laughing, but you’re the sixth one today. You girls should have workshopped your jokes together before going into stasis”</p><p>“Oh. Ah? How long have we got until the big 10k, and how are my investments doing? And do you still have updog in the future?”</p><p>“It’s 2288, forget about year ten thousand we’ve got bigger problems. Your investments tanked in the quantum wars. And nice try but the last corpsicle got me with that one”</p><p>“Fuck. What now?”</p><p>“Asteroid impact is what<br> now”</p><p>“Cool, and you need programmers to calculate how to divert it.”</p><p>“Nope, we did that already.”</p><p>“And that worked?”</p><p>“Noooooot as such, no. Typo in the value of the gravitational constant.”</p><p>“Woopsy, so you need a cadre of 21st century digital girls to brainstorm a last minute plan B?”</p><p>“Nope, plan B worked just fine, the folks at the Indonesian moon base worked an incantation to kick the Earth a day forward in time, while the asteroid sailed through the empty spot. Well mostly fine; I can’t get used to the month being four days longer now.”</p><p>“Aha! You need us to work out how to get the moon back in orbit?”</p><p>“No, we’ll live with that. We need you to fix the timezone data files”</p><p><a href="https://aus.social/tags/Tootfic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Tootfic</span></a> <a href="https://aus.social/tags/MicroFiction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>MicroFiction</span></a> <a href="https://aus.social/tags/PowerOnStoryToot" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>PowerOnStoryToot</span></a></p>
Brian McFadden<p>White House style for the corporate media. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/BrianMcFadden" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="">patreon.com/BrianMcFadden</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Hart of the Wud<p>Maybe we should stop calling them *Notifications* and instead refer to *Interruptions*.</p><p>"Working on some stuff so I've turned off interruptions for a while."</p><p>"Right on."</p>
Marcos Dione<p>This is an experiment. Please boost.</p><p><a href="http://mastoddosnt.ddns.net/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">http://</span><span class="">mastoddosnt.ddns.net/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p><p>Here's the idea: This post is going first to my followers, then, if they boost it, to other people. This domain has been registered for only this experiment. I should see in my web server's logs when mastodon instances start crawling the site for info. Then maybe also some curious humans.</p><p>I just want to play with my monitoring a bit :)</p>
Lesley Carhart :unverified:<p>I don’t know who to credit for this because it’s been stolen so much, but I love it.</p>
𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"<p>MAGA: You people call everyone a Nazi! I'm not a Nazi!</p><p>ME: Okay, maybe I'm wrong. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about what you believe?</p><p>MAGA: Fine ok, but I'm NOT A NAZI stop saying that!!</p><p>ME: First question: Do you believe that American schools should be required to teach the Bible and the Constitution because that is the source of truth and we have strayed from its path?</p><p>MAGA: Well of course. We have to get God back in schools. </p><p>ME: Okay. Do you believe that America has lost its way and we should go back to traditional values? </p><p>MAGA: Duh. We're gonna make America great again. </p><p>ME: Fine, alright. Do you think American presidents should have summits with dictators like Vladimir Putin, Netanyahu, Kim Jong-Un, or the Taliban? </p><p>MAGA: Definitely. We need to take action right now, and Trump is going to make sure it happens. What has Biden done in 4 years? Nothing.</p><p>ME: Right. Got it. Tell me, what do you think of Republicans like Liz Cheney or Mitt Romney?</p><p>MAGA: Get fucked, RINOs. They're all fucking traitors. No better than you libtards. </p><p>ME: Alright then. Next question. This is an easy one. Open borders - good or bad?</p><p>MAGA: Don't get me started on those Mexican immigrants. They're rapists and drug dealers. Trump is gonna build the wall. </p><p>ME: Yeah, I thought so. Ok, next I need to ask you about your thoughts on the middle class, you know, the price of groceries and gas and stuff. </p><p>MAGA: Way too high. I can't even afford to drive my Hummer from my summer home to the Piggly Wiggly to buy a dozen eggs. That's all Biden's fault too. Trump is going to fix it. </p><p>ME: Sure, sure. The next question is about police. Do you support defunding police and using that money to hire more pacifist solutions and invest in de-escalation techniques?</p><p>MAGA: FUCK no. Thin blue line, baby.</p><p>ME: Yeah, thought not. During Donald Trump's first campaign, he mocked a disabled reporter. It became something of a meme among the right, being used to–</p><p>MAGA: Oh shit I remember that! That was fuckin funny as hell, dude. Trump is the fuckin God-emperor!</p><p>ME: No need to finish that question then. Ok, quick rapid fire round. Fill in the blanks. CNN is ___ </p><p>MAGA: Fake news.</p><p>ME: Great. Obama is part of the ___</p><p>MAGA: Deep state.</p><p>ME: Ok. Californians are ___</p><p>MAGA: Coastal elites.</p><p>ME: LGBT people are ___</p><p>MAGA: Groomers.</p><p>ME: Your body ___</p><p>MAGA: My choice, bitches! </p><p>ME: And finally, people convicted of storming the capital on Jan 6 are ___</p><p>MAGA: Heroes. </p><p>ME: Got it. That's it. You did it. You scored a perfect 14.</p><p>MAGA: Woohoo! USA! USA! USA! Wait, was this a test? </p><p>ME: Yep. Umberto Eco's 14 points of fascism. You scored a perfect 14. Some of them I didn't even have to ask about. You just volunteered the "correct" answer. So, congrats, I guess? You *are* a Nazi.</p>
hazel<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@mvsde" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>mvsde</span></a></span> bullenweg.org hosts an archive, and cause why not i’ve put another at <a href="https://bullenweg.pages.gay" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">bullenweg.pages.gay</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Randahl Fink<p>A group of hecklers try to interrupt Kamala Harris.</p><p>Instant regret.</p>
Buxton The Red (Matt)<p>This youtube video - "I Was A Teenage Foot Clan Ninja" - is very amusing. I would recommend it highly to anyone who saw the first <a href="https://tech.lgbt/tags/TMNT" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>TMNT</span></a> movie in the cinema when it was new. Younger peeps might also enjoy? idk.</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIpM77R_ya8" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="">youtube.com/watch?v=DIpM77R_ya8</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
mhoye<p>I have walked this earth for almost fifty years, and today for the first time I heard somebody refer to a phoenix as a "molotov cockatiel".</p><p>And sure, it's not new to the world, it's just new to me. But the world still has undiscovered joy and wonder in it, it can still surprise you, and I thought I'd mention that.</p><p>Because _damn_ that's great.</p>
Uncle Karen<p>Duncan is taken aback</p><p><a href="https://flipping.rocks/tags/cats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>cats</span></a></p>
David Penfold :verified:<p>As soon as I got out of prison, I asked my English teacher for her hand in marriage, an offer she said no to. A good reminder that you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.</p>
David Penfold :verified:<p>A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."</p><p>Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."</p><p>Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."</p><p>I thought,</p><p>"That's it, I'm going to the Police."</p><p>I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.</p><p>I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."</p>
Huskify<p>We need good PSAs</p><p>Thank you to Yale for publishing a wonderful handout with great graphics for the general public. This is one about asymptomatic infections that should be posted everywhere. <a href="https://pdflink.to/yale-covid-19-immune-system-impacts/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">pdflink.to/yale-covid-19-immun</span><span class="invisible">e-system-impacts/</span></a>. Please share with friends, family, work, school, church and social circles. <a href="https://med-mastodon.com/tags/CovidIsNotOver" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>CovidIsNotOver</span></a> <a href="https://med-mastodon.com/tags/MaskUp" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>MaskUp</span></a> <a href="https://med-mastodon.com/tags/Covid" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Covid</span></a> <a href="https://med-mastodon.com/tags/Covid19" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Covid19</span></a></p>
Radical Edward :hackers_town:<p>The assassin awaits the order, watching my mouse hover over the terms of service agreement checkbox as I login to watch The Mandalorian.</p>
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