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Sexuality talk 

I'd describe my demisexuality as: asexual who wants to talk to everyone about sex and fantasies to pleasure myself but without the pressure to ever have sex with others.
Idea of sex with people > actual sex with people.

I'm always attracted to the IDEA and fantasy of sex, but hardly ever attracted to sex with someone.

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Here is a bigger version of my profile picture. It's a mixed media illustration I did for a zine about systems and dissociation.

School has been really hard lately with all the isolation, so it was nice to find some way to express myself.

[Continued image caption:
-thank my brain for telling me when i need to clean out my bubble--by dissociating or getting activated
-surround myself with people who love me and see me authentically ]

school: if u finish ur tasks fast, u can do whatever u like!

work: haha theres more where that came from

I picked myself out a silly Lego banana pencil holder for my birthday :3 it's whimsy brings me joy

What the heck can I do for my birthday :// I honestly have no clue, so I'm just doing HW with a friend

I don’t think it was intentional but the scene where howl’s hair stuff gets mixed up and turns the wrong color and he is so bummed he turns into an immobile slime creature is one of the best depictions of dysphoria I’ve seen in any movie

My birthday is MLK day weekend and I'm just going to spend it doing homework to try to get a week ahead (TT_TT) Being responsible sucks man

Fun fact: There are enough bones inside of your body to create a skeleton!

Apparently advising waived a Java class because I took C+ my freshman year? Uhhh... Sure okay I'll take it whatever you say academia overlords lmao

Academia~ 

Nvm I love statics, no need for help with that but I've forgotten literally everything from Dynamics.

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Academia whining 

I don't suppose anyone wants to do my Dynamics of Mechs of Matls HW :S
I am so tiredddd

Sexuality (not lewd), recovery from purity culture 

Recently been realizing just how much healing I have left to do from being subjected to a particularly nasty and vehement strain of purity culture and sex-shaming in my formative years.

My own inner turmoil around expressing and acting on attraction is palpable to the very people I most wish to share it with, and it's heartbreaking.

I've run across a few odds and ends to help with this sort of thing over the years, but if anyone happens to know any decent resources - especially queer-affirming and/or trauma-informed ones - I'd deeply appreciate suggestions.

(Boosts welcome)

I really need to realize there is no perfect way to get things done and I just need to do thing as they come at me rather than spending so much of my energy planning that I can't even do what needs done. Problem is: idk how to do that yet.

academia, edgy take 

Academia is a scam to sell more academia. << this part isn't really very controversial IMO.

Here's an edgy take:

The gap between academic and non-academic thought and philosophy is damaging to the social psyche, enforces classist understandings of intelligence and denigrates the knowledge and experience of anyone outside of academia.

What does a holistic study of a subject look like? How can it be rooted in the experience of the world and not gate-kept.

My entire school schedule just got switched around a week into the semester and I DO NOT cope with change well. :(((

I just recently realised, that proprietary social networks are not social networks but entertainment networks. That's why at least my friends have a hard time switching to mastodon or pixelfed. People expect to be highly entertained the first second they enter the network and kept that way all the time. Being confronted with a network that is stripped from all these addictive tools is a massive cultural clash.

I start my junior year (again) tomorrow, and send me some luck, confidence and warmth if you have any to spare.

Mh-- 

Really trying not to have a meltdown, fugue or bout of stress induced psychosis and I really feel like one of them is starting with school starting. I have no clue how to get back into this and everything keeps going wrong.

Mh- 

Very overwhelmed by everything related to school right now, and I feel constantly terrified. :/

Probably just going to accept my Industrial and Systems Engineering major offer, but my soul is crushed.

Okay. So. Let's talk relationships and what we can unlearn, meaning, the things we do in relationships that are (sort-of) abusive and/or self-destructive and that we vow to try to not do again.

(football coach voice) alright team, listen up! this is a made up sport and it doesn't matter at all! don't get yourself hurt for no reason! run away from the ball if you want to, I don't give a shit! sit down if you get tired! remember to drink lots of water! okay now get out there and put in the minimal possible effort!!

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